The Hardest Part About Moving to Hawaii No One Talks About

When people hear you’re moving to Hawaii, they picture endless sunsets and a life that feels like a permanent vacation. I know because I was one of those people.

What many people don’t know is that I never planned to live in Hawaii. I raised my 3 sons in the mountains of South Lake Tahoe, California. It was home for a decade and I loved it! I never imagined that one day I’d be packing up my life and moving nearly 2,500 miles across the Pacific.

The move wasn’t part of some lifelong dream. It happened because my aunt needed help maintaining her home here on the Big Island. I came thinking I was helping family. I never expected Hawaii would slowly become home.

The Reality Behind the Dream

I’ve always looked forward to an adventure and new experiences! Like many people who relocate here, I arrived full of excitement. Then real life settled in. I needed to build a new career, make new friends, and figure out where I fit into this island community.

That’s the part of moving to Hawaii very few people talk about. You’re not on vacation anymore. You’re starting your life over.

Reinventing Myself

One of the biggest surprises was how difficult it was to find work. Before moving here, I had spent my career working in both the dental and medical fields, and I had always been able to find employment without much difficulty. For the first time in my life, and in middle age, I found myself struggling to find a job. It was humbling. It was scary. And honestly, it wasn’t something I had prepared myself for.

Ironically, my own experience as a homeowner led me to real estate. We loved our first home, but difficult neighbors ultimately led us to sell. It taught me one lesson I now share with every client: “You can choose your home and your location, but you can’t choose your neighbors, so do your research.”

Today, I have the privilege of helping people build their own dreams on the Big Island. I especially love helping local families become homeowners because I understand just how meaningful that milestone is. Real estate has given me something I never had before. Instead of building someone else’s business, I’ve had the opportunity to build my own while becoming part of this incredible island community.

Missing Family Never Gets Easier

Perhaps the hardest part has been the distance from family. I have a son and four beautiful grandchildren in Northern California. We’ve missed birthdays and other special events. Thankfully, we were just able to celebrate our youngest granddaughter Ananiah’s first birthday!

I’ve learned that staying connected requires intention. Phone calls, FaceTime, planning trips months in advance, and reminding ourselves that although the ocean separates us, love doesn’t recognize distance.

I also have a son in Alabama, and in just a couple of weeks my husband and I will be flying there to spend time with our three-year-old granddaughter, Harlow. Those visits have become incredibly precious because we know every moment together matters.

Thankfully, our youngest son decided to move to the Big Island in 2024. He and his fiance Courtney relocated from the Pacific Northwest, and I thought they would grow bored of the laid back island lifestyle and move back after six months. They are planning a wedding for next fall and are about to close on their very first home here on the Big Island. Watching them put down roots here has been one of the greatest blessings of this journey.

Finding Balance

Life stretches us in unexpected ways. Right now, my husband is temporarily back in Northern California helping close friends rebuild after a devastating fire. It’s another reminder that life doesn’t stop simply because you’ve moved to paradise. Family still needs you. Friends still need you. You simply learn to navigate those responsibilities from a different place.

Over time, I’ve also learned that Hawaii isn’t as far away as it once felt. Yes, it’s an ocean away, but it’s also just an overnight flight. I’ve learned that making the journey matters. Those trips home recharge my heart, and returning to Hawaii reminds me why I chose this life. Little by little, I’ve found a balance between honoring the life I came from and embracing the one I’ve built here.

The Aloha That Changed Everything

Looking back, I smile when I think about those first few months. I was a mess. There were days I cried on my husband’s shoulder wondering if we’d made the biggest mistake of our lives. I felt guilty for moving so far away from the people I loved. I wondered if I had been selfish. Thankfully, those daily tears have become much less frequent.

What carried me through was something I hadn’t expected. The people. The kindness. The patience. The aloha. The support I’ve received from my Living in Hawaii team and from so many people in this community helped me find my footing when I needed it most. For that, I’ll always be grateful.

If You’re Thinking About Moving to Hawaii

Know that the beaches really are beautiful. The sunsets really are breathtaking. The lifestyle truly is special. But there will also be moments when you question yourself. You’ll miss family. You may reinvent your career. You’ll wonder whether you’ve made the right decision. That’s normal.

The people who thrive here aren’t the ones who never struggle. They’re the ones who stay open, who embrace change, who allow themselves to grow into a new version of who they are.

Because sometimes moving to Hawaii isn’t about escaping your old life. It’s about discovering a life you never imagined was possible. And if you allow yourself the time, the patience, and the grace to grow through the hard moments, you’ll find something even more meaningful than paradise.

You’ll find home.